After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
that may or may not have been my penis.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
