giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
