Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
