found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
