He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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