You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
