Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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