So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
