I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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