Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
