We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
