you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
