just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
