she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
PANTIES FOUND
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