The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
