Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
