try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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