It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
