im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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