Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
