Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
