just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
