does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
sex in a hospital.. check
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
