That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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