I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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