I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
