she smelled like a LAN party
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
