He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
