is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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