Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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