some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
