I think im going to throw up on grandma
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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