I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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