I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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