3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
try to milk me bitch
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