i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
