I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
