Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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