you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
