He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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