I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
