I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
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You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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