so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
