mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
