so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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