I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
