just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
