I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
