I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Randomize
