Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
